All around me is disorder. Clothes piled on the floor. Shoes that aren’t in the shoe place. Backpack that’s not in the backpack place. Papers on the table. More clothes. General detritus. It’s been like this for several days now. A reflection of my state of mind. I want to just lie here on the couch. Curl up in a ball. Not deal with it. Run away and hide.
I pick up a handful of clothes and put them in the hamper.
Backpack goes to the backpack place. Shoes to the shoe place.
The fog lifts, if only just a little.
I don’t feel great, but I do feel better.
Put away the clean dishes. Wash the dirty dishes in the sink. Tackle ‘the pile’. Papers to one side, junk to the other. Oh look, there’s the new bank card I got in the mail a month ago. Here’s the ‘Do more of what makes you happy’ magnet I got for Christmas. I put on some classical music, and I feel a little better. Remaining papers into a plastic bag. A project for another time, but at least they’re contained. There’s still a pile of junk, but it’s smaller. More manageable.
Maybe I’ll go to my book club today. Haven’t read the book, but screw it. It’ll feel good to get out of the house and be around people. I’ll bring some carrots and hummus. It’s the fallback dish that I always bring, but what the hell.
Jump in the shower. Feel a little more human. Grocery store. Book club. People. Talking. Discussion. Food. More human still.
Back home. The rest of the day and evening is still before me. I still don’t feel great, but I do feel better.
One small thing this morning, and then a cascade of effects. Pick up a handful of clothes and put them in the hamper. One small thing, and then another and then another.
Do one small thing. You may not feel great, but you will feel better.