Category: Things I’m Thinking

I need this space. I need this place that I’ve created to capture my thoughts. I need this time to think and to plan and to dream. I need these words. When I don’t use this space I feel lost and out of control. It can be difficult to remember that, though I suppose memory is also one of the… Read more →

No one is reading these words. My cries to the Universe. My thoughts. My hopes. My dreams. No one is reading these words, and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because I’m not writing them for you. On some level I’m vain and I want to be heard. I want to be noticed. I want to be remembered. I want… Read more →

Today is February 1st. It’s a new month. It’s a Monday. How often does that happen? I want this month to mean something. I want this day to mean something. I want to look back on February, 2021 and be able to point to actions that I’ve taken to make my life better. Change has to start with me. This… Read more →

It’s almost the end of the year 2020. It hasn’t been the most splendid of years. ‘Bad Boys For Life’ was the top grossing domestic movie of 2020. I don’t know what that means in the larger scope of things, but it definitely says something. I don’t think any of us saw that one coming. I haven’t posted in a… Read more →

It’s here. That feeling of panic. Adrenaline dump. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling hopeless. Wanting to crawl up into a ball. Assume the fetal position. It’s all too much. I look ahead and all I see is tragedy and darkness. The sky is falling and I don’t know what to do. Breathe. Breathe again. Deeper this time. “Whatever happens to me, given… Read more →

It’s the end of the day and I want to call it quits. I’m burned out and I’m tired. How do I keep going? That was yesterday. Yesterday I didn’t keep going. Today I want to keep going. Today I need to keep going. If I’m ever going to move on to something new I must find a way. What… Read more →

No one is watching. Everyone is busy. Everyone is stressed. Everyone is living their own lives. Everyone has a thousand better choices. Why would they bother reading these words? Why would they bother watching my videos? Why would they bother listening to my music? How do you break through? Should that be a part of my mental equation, or is… Read more →

In order for my circumstances to change, I must change. I must change my habits. I must change my actions. I must break down and rebuild. I must keep what works and strip away what doesn’t. Change is hard. Change is uncomfortable. Change is healthy. Change is inevitable. Change is possible. I want my circumstances to change. I must change. Read more →

“Keep your head off of swivel.” — Unknown character from the TV show ‘Blue Bloods’ At least that’s what I think I heard. The TV was on in the background and I wasn’t paying close attention. I have no idea in what context they were using the phrase but there’s something about it that really clicked for me. I guess… Read more →

It’s starting. The feeling of panic. The feeling of being overwhelmed. Feeling like nothing I do will matter. Feeling foggy. Feeling a lack of direction. I’ve been here before. I’ll be here again. The feeling ebbs and flows, but it never completely goes away. Oh wait, I didn’t sleep deeply last night. That only brings on the feeling on quicker… Read more →