It’s starting.
The feeling of panic. The feeling of being overwhelmed. Feeling like nothing I do will matter. Feeling foggy. Feeling a lack of direction.
I’ve been here before. I’ll be here again. The feeling ebbs and flows, but it never completely goes away.
Oh wait, I didn’t sleep deeply last night. That only brings on the feeling on quicker and with more fury. It certainly doesn’t help.
What do I do? ‘Nothing’ is always an option. Roll up in a ball. Lose the day. Reset and try again tomorrow. Been there, done that.
Except that doesn’t usually end well. Tends to become snake eating it’s tail. Spiraling downward. Here there be dragons.
Writing is something to do. Writing gives the voices a place to go. A place to wear themselves out, crying out into the void. “I’m no good. I’m not special. I’ll never be more than this.” Writing helps.
Another choice? Do something. Action begets more action. Quiets the mind. Less to think about when you’re doing something. Less chance for the voices to come and drown you.
That’s what I choose to do.
End transmission. For now.