I recently came across an old notebook of mine. Notes so old that the paper had started to turn yellow. Notes so old that the ‘Things to Buy’ lists included ‘Buy a plain paper fax machine’ and ‘Get the new Beck – Mellowgold CD’.
There were quite a few goals and ideas in there that I’ve seen come to fruition. Yes, there are a bunch of things I said I wanted that haven’t come into my life yet, but there were also a bunch of things that have. (I’m fairly certain I did eventually get that plain paper fax machine and buy Beck’s ‘Mellowgold’ on CD. )
I was ruthlessly hard on myself back then. I was regularly upset and perplexed that I couldn’t seem to make any progress on my goals. As I look over those notes & lists now, I realize that some of them were things that I didn’t actually need to do. Some of those things were written by a me that I was trying to be, not the me that I actually am. Other things were spot on and I did eventually get around to achieving them.
I finally did finish the books for trombone that I was trying to write all those years ago. It just took a hell of a lot longer than I wanted it to. I think that many goals are like that. Some will work out quicker than you might expect. Others are going to take longer than you can possibly imagine. My guess is that the ‘sturm und drang’ and beating yourself up because you haven’t been able to finish something only slows down the process and makes it take that much longer. You also have to consider the possibility that the idea you think was so brilliant might not be ready to be born yet. That thing that you’re so passionate about might be ahead of its time. Either way it’s probably going to take longer than you anticipate.
Give yourself a break. Ease off on yourself a bit. That doesn’t mean lowering your expectations about what you want to achieve. It just means relaxing a little and working to not be so hard on yourself. That thing that you’re striving for is out there, but you can’t always predict how long it’s going to take to achieve. It might take a week, or it might take a lifetime. More than likely it will take somewhere in between. Or maybe that thing you think you wanted isn’t something that’s right for the person you are right now. Whatever the case may be, step back and enjoy the journey while you’re doing the work.